I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
