she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
