Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
