I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
