I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
