Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
