Your tits are I can't wait for
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize