just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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