she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
