So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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