apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
