You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
