I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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