You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
