Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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