Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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