I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
