I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
