If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
