Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
