Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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