I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
