Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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