i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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