Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize