I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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