the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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