I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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