i just wanna soil my oats bro
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize