haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
