If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
