Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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