I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
