i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
