know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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