This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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