I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
