No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize