Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
