You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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