Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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