my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize