Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
