threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
