fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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