Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
