hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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