Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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