Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
