ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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