so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
