wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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