Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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