i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
