I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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