the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i believe in u and ur pee
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
