Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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