Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
