Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have post one night stand depression
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