We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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