I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
