3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
