ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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