help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
